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SEX

Kids and Sexy Costumes: The Problem With Halloween
October 26, 2009, by AV Flox for BlogHer
Without a doubt, Halloween is a survivor; one that sticks around by absorbing the qualities of the culture in prominence where the holiday is celebrated. The truth of the matter is that Halloween is not a holiday for kids. The shift to kids is a very recent thing in its epic history, and I think the emergence of more and more sexualized costumes is both a reflection of our culture’s attitudes toward sex and an attempt to take the holiday back.

Vampire Fiction Is Popular Because Straight Women Secretly Want Gay Men? I Don’t Think So.
October 19, 2009, by AV Flox for BlogHer
We’re not an orgy of wild, good times. We’re not, as Marche claims, processing “a newfound acceptance of what so many once thought strange or abnormal.” There may be a sexual revolution underway, but the battles are still being waged and we’re caught in the crossfire socially and emotionally. The conflict that is delineated by themes in contemporary vampire fiction is two-fold: as I elaborated above, we know there are many ways to enjoy sex but we are not all quite there yet, and neither is society—by a long-shot. Secondly, we have discovered the zipless fuck isn’t exactly enough for everyone in terms of in-depth sexual exploration.

The Resistance: Why Writing About Sex Matters
October 05, 2009, by AV Flox for BlogHer
Those of us who write about sex are putting ourselves out there—not because we think it’s safe to do so, not because we think it’s acceptable to do so, but because we know that it isn’t safe or acceptable. This isn’t about link-baiting or shock value, it’s about resistance. By telling our stories, we liberate others to do the same. That is the nature of the story. Our voices, in this space, grant permission to others to accept their sexuality, to explore their bodies, to reflect on their own desires and share in their experience. Together, our baby steps carve a direction from isolated ignorance to open discussion, community and learning.

How To Not Piss Off A Stripper
September 10, 2009, by AV Flox for Manolith
I realize this article is going to make me the ultimate terrorist of fantasy, but I refuse to let any more of you make an ass out of yourselves at strip clubs. Whether they like to be naked or not, whether they enjoy turning you on, there’s one thing exotic dancers all have in common: they’re working. Whether you think taking off clothes for money is a great choice of career is really beside the point, these women are providing fantasy, yes, but that is a job. And as a patron of their services, you need to treat them like you would anyone else who was providing a service to you.

Let’s Talk About Sex and Money
September 08, 2009, by AV Flox for BlogHer
I had issues with the angle that we’re all paying for sex, one way or another, not because I particularly disagree with that statement (I am divorced after all), but because it ignores a very crucial fact: people outside the sex industry are free to expect something from their exchanges with other people, be it dinner, gifts, alimony, the house, the boat, etc. Sex workers, on the other hand, are criminalized for being upfront about the exchange.

Top 5 Ways To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom
August 18, 2009, by AV Flox for Twirlit
Once upon a time, I believed people were born knowing exactly what kinds of things turned them on. For a long time, this was true for me. But as I got older, I had the opportunity to experience things I had never even considered. Many were epic, yes, but some of the most wondrous were simple delights. Your sex life doesn’t have to be stale for you to try new things—open your mind.

The Girl’s Guide To Oral Pleasure
August 10, 2009, by AV Flox for Twirlit
REMOVED DUE TO ADVERTISER CONCERNS I have to warn you about something, though. Advertisers don’t like “graphic” language, so I’m taking a page out of the cheap romance novel genre and employing a handful of euphemisms. You don’t have to laugh, but please try to find it in your heart to forgive me. And now, let me introduce the wand of awesome… into your mouth!

Spit, Swallow or … Sauté?
August 10, 2009, by AV Flox for BlogHer
Food today is no longer simply satisfying a reptilian necessity. It isn’t about nutrition–food is now about the pleasure in the marriage of flavors and textures. There is a certain hedonism in eating. So it isn’t necessarily that semen is being desexualized, it is that the parallel concepts of sexual fulfillment (represented by semen) and gastronomical fulfillment (represented by gourmet cooking) have finally met—as parallels tend to do in curved space.

5 Recession-Proof Ways To Get It On
August 4, 2009, by AV Flox for Twirlit
Often in times of economic uncertainty, desire and pleasure are relocated to the back burner. We become practical with our time, giving importance to only to what we perceive are our most vital needs. It is unfortunate that we do not see the pursuit of pleasure as a vital need because, I believe, it is very much one. With this in mind, I have devised a little guide of delights that is either entirely free or renders a very, very high ROI.

Top 5 Weird Sex Facts
July 22, 2009, by AV Flox for Manolith
Sex is a weird thing, but no book I’ve read has exposed more of its complexity than How Sex Works by evolutionary neurologist Sharon Maolem. Here are a handful of the nuttiest facts I learned reading the book.

Man Guide to Oral Pleasure
July 08, 2009, by AV Flox for Manolith
OK, so every woman is different. Some prefer to be seduced into oral sex, others think it hotter for you to throw her legs open and dive right in. In the ideal world, you’ve spent enough time fooling around to know the level of sexual aggression that she finds sexy, but let’s be honest, this isn’t the ideal world. Chances are you might find yourself in a hot and heavy situation that calls for oral sex before you really know what she likes. Here is how to ace the experience.

How To Get Laid With Twitter
May 18, 2009, by AV Flox for lalawag
“If you’re tweeting at a rate of once every four minutes, how do you have time to do anything else?” he asked. “Has Twitter replaced sex?” D00d. If you have to ask, UR DOIN IT RONG. The truth is, Twitter is probably the best way to hook up. Old-school methods of getting to know someone through their blogs and Facebook profiles is a large investment as far as time goes–and time is a luxury not all of us have. With Twitter, you can find and engage hundreds of people in your network. So how do you do it?

Imaginary Friend… With Benefits!
May 6, 2009, 2009, by AV Flox for lalawag
Like most other bizarre/awesome sex-related phenomena, air sex got its start in Japan when a group of bored dudes with no girlfriends decided simulation was better than nothing. A video of their shenanigans went viral, the blogosphere and press picked it up, and less than a year later, Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse was holding regular competitions, which quickly became sold-out events.

Does Gender Determine How Good Your Erotica Is?
March 16, 2009, by AV Flox for BlogHer
One day a girl in love said to the man she loved: “I could write the kind of stories you like…” The girl speaking was Anne Desclos, better known in French literary circles as the journalist and critic Dominique Aury, and the man to whom she was speaking was Jean Paulhan, director of the literary publication Nouvelle Revue Française. Paulhan didn’t believe a woman could write erotica the way men wrote it. So Aury wrote him Story of O.

Ten Tips for Better Sex in 2009
February 02, 2009, by AV Flox for BlogHer
When was the last time you had sex for the sake of your senses? No, think about this. I am not talking about orgasm. I am not even talking about pleasure in and of itself. I am talking about using every given sense receptor, focusing your energy on it and really, truly experiencing what that sense tells you, not just whether it feels good or not, harder, baby, harder, deeper, deeper, faster, faster, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. No. I mean: when was the time you lived your sensory data?

Sex, Booze & History
January 20, 2009, by AV Flox for Black Heart Magazine
Now, I have been called anal-retentive when it comes to writing, but what a difference a hyphen makes. “Prostitution-Free Zone” says to me an area is free of the exchange of money for sex. “Prostitution Free Zone,” on the other hand, seems to suggest you can actually–for one night only!–get the goods for free.

Three Kinds of Natural Viagra
January 17, 2009, by AV Flox for Black Heart Magazine
According to The Daily Mail, gardening for 30 minutes a day, five days a week, is almost better than Viagra. In fact, researchers at the Medical University of Vienna have established that regular weeding, digging and mowing can reduce the risk of impotence around 38 percent.

Saving Your Virginity Pays, & More
January 14, 2009, by AV Flox for Black Heart Magazine
Natalie Dylan put up her virginity for sale last year, causing a stir. Following a frenzy of media mentions, bids for the 22-year-old’s cherry have now reportedly reached 3.7 million dollars. The Sun reports that the highest bidder is a 39-year-old Australian businessman who made the offer via her website.

The Sideways Vagina
July 6, 2007, by AV Flox for Black Heart Magazine
A guy once dumped me because I wasn’t Asian enough. I’m not kidding, that’s what he said. He took a drag from his cigarette and, without really looking at me, said, “it’s nothing personal. It’s just… you’re not… Asian enough.” I hadn’t been aware Asian was a prereq for riding that ride—I may be a fourth Japanese, but I look nothing like it. Just what was he expecting? Did he think my inner geisha was going to pop up at some point and take over?

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  • AV Flox writes about web culture; new media’s gradual overthrow of old media; trends in social media; and the complicated entanglements people get themselves into as we venture forth into this new world where, more and more, the analog is colliding with the digital.

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